Chapter 7

Well, I am not going to lie I haven't even read the chapter but after posting last week I decided to take personal time and act to empower myself to have what I NEED.  I NEED love, power, freedom, and fun.

I have my freedom now as I acted on my post from IPOH Chapter 6.  I am single.  Not only am I single but my Dad is seeking treatment today for his Alcoholism.  My life could be better right now as I feel I have so much to be happy about but I am having a hard time BEING HAPPY about it.  Anyway I didn't want anyone to think I just wasn't posting Chapter 7, I just am not ready to take the emotional roller coaster each of these chapters seems to take us on yet. I look at the book everyday and just can't bring myself to open it right now.  Between tackling what I needed to tackle for myself and my father tackling what he needed to tackle I just can't handle too much more right now.

Thanks to all of you for your support and wonderful comments you have left me.  It is hard to write about it because of fear that others will judge you.  However, as a class we have proved that theory wrong when each of us posts we give honest heartfelt feedback.  

Houston we have a problem... IPOH Chapter 6

A person I am having problems with is very near and dear to my heart.

Through reading this book I have learned that I have exhausted almost all the means suggested in here to get what I NEED from him.  

I have asked and pleaded and begged but the bottom line is I am not getting that commitment.  So... I examined myself to realize that this person is a great friend, best friend, but not one to be in a relationship with.  Right now it is a security blanket, I must let this security blanket go.  It will help me with my freedom, love, and power when I do so.

I do what I can alone, we have worked through many problems together, but this commitment issue is no going to go away.

I will be able to carry out "The Washington Post" in a more effective and efficient manner when I convince myself that a relationship is not what I need with this person right now.  I need freedom, happiness, love, and power. The only way to do that is to end the relationship. Therefore, I must let this security blanket go.

In all my spare time these are the changes I will make... IPOH Chapter 5

Alright, so I barely had time to read this assignment and comment on it, much less make the changes I need to make in my life.  I think I will make these my priorities over the winter break before starting a new semester at school.  As you can see it wasn't even posted on time...

Love

 I have plenty of it the question is do I give enough in return.  Right now I would say... no.  My family and friends love unconditionally but at times I neglect them.  This is the center for many of our lives and I need to focus more attention there.  This includes writing to my sister while she is away at school, going out occasionally with my sister at home, and having a family meal more occasionally with my parents.

Power

I feel I have enough power in my life, school, work, the gym, its all there.  

Freedom

More spare time would be nice, I just haven't found a way to create that yet, again something to be worked on during the winter break from school.  I do believe this will come easier because this is my last full time semester, I will only have three classes left after this semester.

Fun

I don't go out as often as I should but when I do I have fun.  More time with family may make this section come alive.

With the exception of fun my life seems to  be pretty balanced.  However, when I have the opportunity to have fun it generally is something that I cherish and can think about for the days and weeks to come.  The other three categories allow me to have fun as an everyday occurrence but I don't think it is in the sense that the book was trying to emphasize. 

This activity wasn't easy but here is a stab at it.

Love:

friends

family

work

gym

Power:

school

work

gym

Fun: 

friends

gym

Freedom:

work

gym

school

I didn't get what I wanted but the EFFECTIVE solution is...

Well, I found out this week I did not get what I wanted when I didn't get the job at the Office of EMS.

The following were my options:

I could ineffectively sulk in bed and sleep all day, which I did for one day. This didn't help to situation at all.

I could apply for another job which is some of what I want but not all of it.  This would be a band-aid because I know I have the intentions of moving on to the Office of EMS.  I am not sure if I am still going to apply or not.

Effectively, I went out of town for the weekend to Virginia Beach for Rescue Squad Convention and spent time with friends feeling loved and accepted.  While I was there the Assistant Director for the Office of EMS told me not to get discouraged and that it was a tough decision.  He told me to reapply for there next job opening because they looked forward to adding me to the team.

Effectively, I have recommitted myself to my work, always giving 110% and never less.  Always doing what I love to do, stay busy.  It means getting into work at 7am and not stopping till 11pm.  Always looking for improvements to make.  It makes me happy and gives me a sense of power when I see positive change.  I can go to bed the rest of the night and sleep contently, as long as someone else doesn't require my assistance during my REM cycle.

What I have that makes my life HAPPIER from myself:

I have the best job in the world.  I feel satisfaction when I pick up the 90 year old lady off the floor at 3am in the morning because she has no one else to talk to.  I am happy when I get an awesome trauma call and even happier when I have a student riding with me who gets to do their first needle chest decompression or get an intubation. 

I am receiving an awesome education with some help from my parents and grandparents.  I couldn't be in a more rewarding field and this education makes my job more interesting by the day.

I have a gym membership and personal trainer.  I am happy when I go to the gym and even happier when I get home from the gym.  I feel better now than I have in the past year.

From others:

I have great friends who are supportive, a great shift at work, and an awesome boss that has his employees interest at heart in every decision that he makes.  

I have a supportive family that gives me unconditional love, even when I have made the stupidest of decision, and I have made some REALLY stupid decisions.  

I have a membership to great organizations like VAVRS / NAEMT / and VEMA.  I get to interact with some very talented people and learn constantly from them.

What I have done RIGHT:

Two months ago I decided to get a personal trainer, now I feel better than I have in the past year.  

I have continued my education as a full time student every year since graduating high school.

My Wants:

I want to get hired with the Virginia Office of EMS, finish my bachelors, start on my Masters in Public Administration, be able to pass the candidate physical ability test after finishing with my personal trainer, finish my externship, and get my associate emergency manager certification.

Something I could add to my life:

I could have a better social life and see my friends more often.  This would fulfill my needs for love, fun, and freedom.

In Pursuit of Happiness

I Got What I Wanted When:

1) I finished working out for the day.  The work out this morning started my day off in the right direction and now I am motivated to try and put a large dent in school work today.

2) I ate healthy for the day and this gave me the energy to accomplish the many tasks ahead of me.

3) Completing three assignments for the morning was an accomplishment and allowed me to enjoy the rest of the afternoon.

I Did Not Get What I wanted When:

1) I haven't heard from my job interview and this is a job that I really wanted.

2) My car started to make a strange noise this morning.

3) I let the little things get to me at work and I get infuriated so easily.